"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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