Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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