I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
