so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm too high and old for this...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
