Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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