Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
