i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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