There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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