i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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