if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i think im in europe. pls send help
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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