I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
