you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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