i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
