I wannas sexs uuuuu
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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