worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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