i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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