Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
