I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
