My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
