so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
