Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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