I met the friendliest cop last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
