the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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