I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
