I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
