week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
