I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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