got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
