help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
