Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
