Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
