thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
