I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
