Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
