oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
