I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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