I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize