Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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