I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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