The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
