yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
