just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
