We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
