my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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