Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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