One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
