After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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