I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
