This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
