Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
