I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
